NBC to Heroes: “Goodnight sweet prince.”

Sources at NBC have told sci-fi site Airlock Alpha that execs may be looking to put the kibosh on Heroes, maybe as early as the end of this season.

“There isn’t much happening with this show in terms of audience, and giving it a ‘final chapter’ feel is something the network is considering to help allow the show to go out with a bang,” said the source, who asked not to be identified.

While Heroes started out strong in its first season, its story has since turned into one giant clusterf**k and the show can never seem to decide exactly what it wants to do with itself. Is Sylar a good guy or a bad guy? Should we give Suresh mutant powers or not? Should everyone be able to swap powers so we can up the big explosion and cool factors? All important questions, but one thing is for sure: Future Hiro will comes back in time to tell someone that the world is in trouble…and only the Heroes can save it!

For now, you can file this under “Rumors.” You can also file it under, “It’s About Time.” “Everytime Ali Larter Tries Acting Sexy I Want To Punch Myself In The Privates,” would also be acceptable.

“You wanted an animal, Colonel. You got it.”

I remember being giddy every time I watched the trailer for the first X-Men movie back in 2000. Finally, my comic book heroes were coming to the big screen! Jean Grey was wicked hot, and casting Captain Picard as Professor X was a stroke of genius. Fast forward to 2009. I knew that Origins had been on the horizon for some time. Was I excited about it? Hey, who saw Southland last week?

X-Men Origins: Wolverine is one of those movies I want to be good, but am afraid of getting my hopes up over. Forget good, I just want it to be decent. After all, there are tons of X-Men fans out there. Don’t they deserve good X-Men movies? Sure they do. Unfortunately, what they get is usually one good movie, which spawns a series of diminishing-returns sequels. This is where Origins landed.

After a stylistic intro that is arguably the best part of the entire movie, the story picks up in Vietnam. Half-brothers James (Jackman) and Victor (Schreiber) are offered jobs with an elite group of mutants run by General William Stryker. Their job is to travel into various third world countries, taking care of all of Stryker’s nefarious shit that’ll pay off later in the film. After watching his teammates kill innocent civilians, James says he’s had enough of the entire thing and leaves. Six years later he’s living in the mountains, chopping down trees and gettin’ joshed by the fellas every time they see him and his girlfriend stealing a smooch. He’s riding high, until he’s tracked down by Sabertooth, who kills his girlfriend. Stryker reappears and tells him that he’ll be able to track down Sabretooth and get sweet sweet revenge, as long as he submits to a secret military experiment, the specifics of which you might already have heard about.

You’ve got some good stuff here. Hugh Jackman is Hugh Jackman. He’s a good actor and does as good a job as he can with what was given to him. I don’t think that will really surprise anyone. Although they don’t have tons of screentime, Ryan Reynolds and Kevin Durand deliver some laughs as Deadpool and the Blob. But the movie’s real standout is Liev Schreiber. His performance, and his role in the film kind of makes you wonder why they wasted his character in the first film. I understand there’s not enough to spend fleshing out every single character they introduce, but come on, it’s Sabretooth.

I grew up watching X-Men cartoons, buying X-Men trading cards, and playing X-Men outside with my friends. While they would get to play cool characters like Wolverine, Cyclops, or Beast, they’d make me play as someone like Toad, and make them all ham sandwiches. My point is that, for me, it’s impossible to approach this movie without that fanboy perspective. So, as a fan, I hate it when movies like these go back and fill in the holes in some character’s backstory so that half of what you saw before no longer makes any sense. In that regard, Wolverine doesn’t disappoint. Or it does. Doesn’t. Does. Yeah, it does. My thoughts on everything are a little unorganized, so I’ll give you one long laundry list. (avast mateys, there be spoilers here)

1. The timeline. If Logan joined Stryker’s team toward the end of Vietnam, the latest this movie could take place at is around 1980, yet we see flatscreen computers and Scott Summers in high school. So, in the 23 short years between this film and X-Men 2, Cyclops hasn’t aged a decade? Forget that, what was the point of having him in the movie in the first place? It reminded me of bad fan fiction. Adding fun references doesn’t do much to help the script.

2. Changing the characters. Toward the end of the movie, we see Deadpool go from wisecracking mercenary to Mortal Kombat reject. Adamantium swords coming out of his arms? Seriously? Characters don’t need to be portrayed exactly as they are in the comics, sure. But are they going to make Wolverine fly and Cyclops be able to change his shape. Well honestly, they might, but you get my point.

3. Speaking of pointless cameos. Later in the film, Cyclops and the others are rescued from Stryker’s base by Professor X, in a cameo by Patrick Stewart. The scene isn’t much different from this…

Cyclops: Hey, a helicopter! And someone’s coming out!

Professor X: You must all get on my helicopter, so I can save you.

Cyclops: Hey, your helicopter has guns and missiles. Why didn’t you try doing anything before?

Professor X: … I’m a telepath.

4. Will.i.am. Hey, isn’t that Will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas? Wait, this isn’t a Black Eyed Peas video, why is he talking and doing things?

5. Wasted potential. I always thought Gambit was one of the main characters, like Bishop. I know fans have wanted the filmmakers to put him in the movies for a long time. Why throw his character away after fifteen minutes of screentime? “What’s that, Logan? You have amnesia now? Well, cutting off a mule’s ears doesn’t make it a horse. That’s Creole. I’m from Louisiana. See you around the bayou, mon ami.”

6. About six or seven more scenes of Wolverine fighting Sabretooth, please. About six or seven more scenes of Wolverine fighting Sabretooth, please.

Because I’m an X-Men fan, I can justify giving this movie a B-. Standing on its own merits, Origins gets a C. The actors give us a few bright spots between some cool action scenes, and really, the first twenty minutes or so are pretty good, but after that, this one goes way downhill. Make it a Blockbuster night, assuming there’s still a Blockbuster once this one hits DVD.

“I’m leaving this galaxy for one less complicated.”

Not sure if any of you have heard, but they finally got around to making a Watchmen movie. Well, I got a chance to see it this weekend, and I have to say, it’s just fine. It’s a little hard writing anything about it, as this has been one of the most highly-anticipated films of the last twenty years. It’s been hyped-up for so long that it can’t help but feel a little anti-climatic once it’s all out there for you to see. But, we’ll try anyway…

Watchmen takes place in an alternate United States in the year 1985. In this world, masked superheroes are a part of everyday life. When the Comedian, a former member of the superhero group, the Crimebusters, is found murdered, the vigilante Rorschach takes off on a mission to uncover his killer. What he discovers is a conspiracy that will kill millions, and destroy the lives of countless superheroes.

Previous incarnations of Watchmen had been scrapped due to budget disputes, creative differences, and the fear that a film could never do the comics justice. Luckily, director Zack Snyder was able to present audiences with a story that stayed true to the source material, and at the same time worked as a film. Fans of the comics should be more than pleased. A few subplots were stripped away to keep the movie from running five or six hours, but the core story is all there, in all its depressing, introspective glory.

I wonder if Snyder made a conscious deicision to cast smaller names so that the actors wouldn’t overshadow the movie. Whether or not he did, it worked out for him. These are people you’re getting to know for the first time, and the chemistry is really something to watch. Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach and Jeffrey Dean Morgan as the Comedian, I’m looking at you.

The film’s special effects look great, and are presented in a way that’s unique to the film and not just a 300 retread. The first scene, in which the Comedian meets his demise, and any of the scenes of Dr. Manhattan on Mars are great examples. I know it’s kind of obvious to say that the movie features some impressive eye candy, but the movie features some impressive eye candy. Not the least of which is Malin Akerman as Silk Spectre. Seriously. Hubba hubba.

UNDER-17 ALERT – The movie also features violence and glowing blue private parts that may be offensive to some viewers. Billy Crudup and his magic johnson are almost cartoonish, so it wasn’t distracting in any way. Reports of exactly how over-the-top violent the rest of the movie is I found a little exaggerated. Don’t get me wrong, there are some choice scenes in there, but Kill Bill or El Mariachi this is not.

Because we’ve seen the trend over the past couple of years, it’s easy to say that Watchmen is another film featuring deeply-conflicted superheroes, although the comics started that trend when they were first published in ‘86. When it comes to that depiction in the film, however, I felt things fell a little short. The world Snyder’s created feels real, but I couldn’t help but feel that I was looking at everything through a thin layer of gloss. This sort of character was presented more genuinely in The Dark Knight. There was this sense of brooding that I was expecting but never got. That’s not to say that the movie did a poor job, just that other movies have done it better.

Casual fans will probably be put off by the film’s mighty mighty 163-minute runtime. But rest assured that things don’t drag, and the world is so rich and textured that it’s easy to get lost in it all. This is one of those epic movies that you’ll want to catch in theaters, and shell out the $50 when it comes out on blu-ray, because it’s going to make your socks roll up and down. A-

TRAILER MONDAY – Tuesday Edition

Another Tuesday, another Tuesday edition of Trailer Monday. First up this week is the hot-off-the-press trailer for FOX’s X-Men Origins: Wolverine, which tells the story of how f**king awesome Gambit is gonna rock this thing!

Last week, the full trailer for Terminator: Salvation, starring Christian Bale was released. I couldn’t really tell what was going on, with all the big explosions and cool looking robots. But I’d guess it has something to do with Christian Bale working with Shia LeBeouf to keep the All Spark away from Megatron. With all the franchises and sequels and threequels we get these days, especially all the ones with big explosions and cool looking robots, I’d say the success of this one hinges soley on how many obligatory little-kid-in-SUV scenes we get. You know, the ones where the robot flies by and the little kid yells, “Cool!”

Finally, we have the trailer for Knowing, starring Nicolas Cage. This is like a big screen version of Jeff Goldblum’s character Ian Malcolm, from Jurassic Park, which was a big screen version of the book by Michael Crichton. Anyway, it doesn’t have any dinosaurs, that we know of.

“And tonight, you’re gonna break your one rule.”

Wow. Wow. The summer blockbuster season might as well pack it in and go home, because it’s over. See you later Step Brothers. Shake a leg Swing Vote, because it’s done son. We’ve been waiting three years for Christopher Nolan’s follow-up to 2005’s Batman Begins, and holy piss, was it worth it. And not only did we get a great film, but the greatest superhero movie ever made.

As Batman continues to clean up the mean streets of Gotham City, desperate criminals are scrambling to save their crumbling empire. Taking advantage of the confusion is one of Gotham’s new breed of criminal, a man they call the Joker. Why does that sound awesome? Because it effing IS.

Watching as all this unfolds is Batman. As the Joker takes control of Gotham’s underworld and the body count begins to rise, Bruce Wayne is forced to ask himself if the creation of such a fantastic hero as Batman is really to blame for all this. If, in his desire to make the city a safer place, he’s only upped the ante in a game he’s not sure he can win. Or rather, a game in which he’s not sure he can do what he needs to in order in win.

I hate to say it, but these types of movies have changed since 9/11. The line between hero and villain has been blurred and they’re presented to us in a much more gritty, realistic way. As far as superheroes are concerned, this method has been met with some criticism. Frank Miller, of Sin City fame, explained it like this…

People are attempting to bring a superficial reality to superheroes which is rather stupid. They work best as the flamboyant fantasies they are. I mean, these are characters that are broad and big. I don’t need to see the sweat patches under Superman’s arms. I want to see him fly.

I think it’s a valid criticism, but not one I necessarily agree with. When superheroes are presented to us as “flamboyant fantasies,” I’m not sure they can progress beyond a certain complexity and ultimately don’t affect us on the level a movie like The Dark Knight does.

The movie’s complexity is served not only by it’s story, but also by it’s actors. Christian Bale, Aaron Eckhart, Gary Oldman. All are in top form from start to finish. And while they were all great and a delight to watch on screen, it was as if God himself looked down on Heath Ledger’s Joker and said, “You are my finest creation.” From his first scene (and it’s AWESOME), his entire performance was brilliant.

There’s a giant internet slap-fight going on right now, with people arguing over who’s better, Heath Ledger or Jack Nicholson from 1989’s Batman. They’re both representative of two different cultural mindsets and I don’t think you can truly compare the two. And while I loved Nicholson’s portrayal and get a little giddy every time I hear the line, “Hubba hubba hubba! Money money money! Who do you trust!”, Ledger’s Joker was much more rounded-out than Nicholson’s and in the end you understand him better. This is really driven home in a scene halfway through the movie (that they’ve hinted at in previews), in which Batman interrogates the Joker at Police HQ. In it, you understand who these two characters are, and why the Joker is considered Batman’s nemesis. For me, it was probably the best part of the whole movie. But then again, I’m stupid like that.

Two small complaints (I’m sorry!). At a hefty 152 minutes, the movie does start to drag a little toward the end. And, Batman does have a few more crazy gadgets that make you scratch your head a little. One of the things I’ve enjoyed most about these two movies is that they don’t really mess with all the crazy bat-crap the comics and the Joel Schumacher movies got bogged down in. But, these are small things and – at the risk of sounding like someone who’s just gulped down a big pitcher full of Batman Kool-Aid – it doesn’t really matter. Everything I liked about this movie completely outweighed the things I didn’t.

The movie is set to make all sorts of money this weekend, so a third installment is as good as in the bank. And honestly, I have no idea where they’re going to take it. Aaron Eckhart plays Gotham D.A. Harvey Dent, and anyone who knows anything about Batman knows what happens to him. With that in mind, I felt that while the focus of the movie would be on the Joker, Dent’s story would set things up for the next film. We’ll just say that all my expectations were dumbfounded. That’s right, they were found to be dumb. I don’t want to spoil too much, but I will say that the Joker doesn’t die. And while I don’t think Nolan would ever try to find anyone to try (because they could only try) and follow up Heath Ledger’s, you’d think they would try and give some resolution to his storyline. I guess we’ll see.

This is the best movie you’re going to see this summer. So if you haven’t seen it already, run out to your nearest IMAX and enjoy it in all it’s six-story, high definition goodness. And then go do it again.

10 out of 10 stars

Watchmen trailer hits!

I know I’ve really been slacking off on bringing my gentle readers anything original for a couple of weeks now and I’m really sorry about, but shut up for a minute, would ‘ya? GET THIS. The teaser trailer for Zack Snyder’s Watchmen is out and holy hell does it look awesome! The movie’s not due out until March of next year, so run out and buy the comic book to hold you over. In the meantime, enjoy!

“You wouldn’t like me when I’m hungry.”

As I sat in the theater last night, waiting for the movie to start, eyeballing the five rows of fifteen year olds who I know would do nothing but piss me off the entire time, my friend leaned over and said, “I heard this one is supposed to be better than you think.” I remarked that it’s a sad state of affairs when we talk about movies in terms of how much they’re going to disappoint us. He said it was better to go in with low expectations and have those blown away rather than the other way around. I really can’t argue with that. Although I don’t think it was low expectations that made The Hulk so damn fun, it was just that Edward Norton and company put together a good movie.

The Hulk’s been around long enough that, even if you don’t read the comics, you still know the story. Dr. Bruce Banner, in a freaky-deaky science experiment, is bombarded with gamma radiation, which transforms him into a Hulk. An Incredible Hulk. Anyway, he’s strong really strong and always pissed off.

Because we already know the backstory, the filmmakers made a smart move by not going back over the Hulk’s origin. The movie’s kind of like a sequel to another movie that was never made, with Banner’s transformation being skimmed over in a montage during the opening credits. This is good for a few reasons: It allows the filmmakers to advance the story’s narrative a little further than they would be able to otherwise, and it doesn’t retread any ground from the other Hulk – the 2003 film starring Eric Bana (which I’ve never seen, but also have never heard anything good about).

Edward Norton does a great job in the role of Banner. The John Everyman trying desperately to control the powers he’s been stuck with. Starring alongside Norton are Liv Tyler (who I’m liking more and more these days) as Betty Ross, William Hurt as General “Thunderbolt” Ross and Tim Roth as Emil Blonsky, who transforms into baddy Abomination. All have nice resumes and work really well together onscreen.

The filmmakers throw out a few winks to the audience. Lou Ferrigno cameos as a security guard in a pretty funny scene with Norton. And Robert Downy Jr. shows up in the last five minutes as Tony Stark in a nice little bit of continuity that’s sure to make fans of Iron Man (and Marvel’s upcoming movie slate) wet themselves a little. Fans of the comic books with also recognize Tim Blake Nelson’s character, Dr. Samuel Sterns, otherwise known as The Leader. Judging from his last scene in the movie, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him in a sequel.

Again, with disappointments like Spiderman 3 and The Fantastic Four (all of them, EVAR), Hulk stands up very nicely. I’ve heard the DVD is supposed to restore a large amount of cut footage, so that’ll be something to look forward to. As much as I liked this movie, it still wasn’t as good as Iron Man, so I can’t rate it that high, but it gets right up there. If you’re still one who gets giddy at watching superheroes onscreen, this is definitely one to check out in the theaters.

7.5 out of 10 stars

5 Things We Love About Movies With Guns – Judge Dredd

Shut up. You, like everyone else, went to Best Buy or Fry’s or wherever, found it in the Bargain Bin, and said, “Awesome!” This week, we take a look at one of Sylvester Stallone’s best roles (because honestly, how many really good ones were there?)…

1. The ABC War Robot.

What would life be like if we were followed around by an 8 ft. tall robot with machine guns in it’s hands and who did everything we told it to? Awesome. It would be awesome.

2. Mutants.

We all know that if there’s ever some sort of nuclear disaster, and we somehow survive it, we’re more than likely to be transformed into hideous mutant monsters. He can only hope that our uber-Christian preacher fathers will be able to outfit us with Six Million Dollar Man cybernetic implants, and that there will be enough airplane crash victims for us to eat.

3. Rob Schneider.

I think it’s great that Rob Schneider has given up success and a career of his own so that he could focus on co-opting the success of others who are still relevant and still making good movies. Anyway, he was decent in this movie and some of his lines were pretty funny. Little did he know that the s**tfest that was Deuce Bigalow would have a retroactive effect on all his previous work, also moving it into the s**t catagory. We’ll make an exception for Judge Dredd… and for SNL.

4. Block war, man!

Don’t you hear ‘em out there? It’s block war, man!

5. The Lawgiver.

I thought it would be kind of obvious to do an article on things we loved about movies with guns, and then have one of those things be the guns themselves. But this time around I couldn’t resist. The Lawgiver does everything. It shoots flairs, grenades, standard rounds, armor-piercing rounds, and in the movie’s deleted scenes, you see it actually make Dredd a ham sandwich. Who wouldn’t want one of these things? Don’t pick it up though, because they’re booby-trapped.

Be back next week for a new edition of 5 Things We Love About Movies With Guns. As always, if you’d like to see a movie reviewed, write us at move.it.move@gmail.com.

Two Face revealed? *update 7-19-08*

Maybe you noticed this shot from the newest Dark Knight trailer…

Two Face, you say? Best. Picture. Ever. you say? Well, now Lying in the Gutters has posted a picture of what they’re claiming is concept art from the upcoming batflick

**IMAGE REMOVED AT THE REQUEST OF WARNER BROTHERS**

(and reposted now that the movie is out)

We know fakes have hit the internet already, so it’s possible this will turn out to be another one. But, it does look better than what we’ve seen so far. Real or fake though, on July 18th, The Dark Knight will own us all. Tell us what you think in the comments section.