TRAILER MONDAY – Kiddie Edition!

This week we’ve got three trailers that’ll make you hate all those kids who cried during the very awkward sex scene in the middle of Watchmen just a little more. Enjoy!

After a very long wait, the adaptation of that children’s classic, Where the Wild Things Are, is heading to theaters this Fall. Unfortunately, it’s being directed by Michael Bay. The “wild things” have been sent from the planet Megatron to watch Megan Fox sex things up with those big old fish lips of hers. Can’t wait!

This next one is really going to knock your socks off. Imagi Studios has teamed up with Capcom to release Mega Man on the big screen! And not just Mega Man, but all of your favorites are there, too! Dr. Wily, the less popular Dr. Cossack, Air Man, Metal Man, Shade Man and whatever the hell he did… wha… huh? Wait a second. What the hell is an Astro Boy? Well… nevermind. This could have been a cool movie.

This September, Sony Pictures is releasing Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, which is another children’s book adaptation. Let me tell you, as someone who loved this book when he was in the second grade, and hoped one day to find a way to the magical town of Chewandswallow, this movie has absolutely NO respect for the book that came before it, and is only a further sign of our society’s impulsive need to bastardize good literature in order to make a quick buck. Burn in hell, Sony Pictures.

“You’ve underestimated me and the element of surprraaahh!”

If Get Smart were called Threat Level: Midnight, starring Agent Michael Scarn, I think it would have been a lot funnier. I was expecting the movie to be one of this summer’s shining stars, at least a solid comedy. As it was, Steve Carell’s latest left me a little unsatisfied.

Where to start? Carell stars as Maxwell Smart, a member of a super secret intelligence group called CONTROL. After eight long years of listening to “chatter”, he’s finally been elevated to the lofty position of field agent. It’s the greatest day of Max’s life, but just to make things sweeter, he’s been teamed up with super sexy Agent 99, played by super sexy Anne Hathaway. Together, they set off to thwart the diabolical KOAS, who of course want nothing more than to get their hands on nuclear missiles and blow things up.

First off, we have funny man Steve Carell. He’s made comedy gold out of The Office, but for some reason, none of that has translated to any of his movies. It’s like he can’t stop playing Michael Scott, who’s a great character, in The Office, but does nothing to make the Maxwell Smart character his own. Next we have super sexy Anne Hathaway, who’s a great actress and super sexy, but was born twenty years too late to be cast as a believable love interest (in Get Smart at least, but NOT for How Jimmy Bing Moved It Moved It: The Jimmy Bing and Anne Hathaway Story).

I felt that the movie’s story never really came togther. Max is made a field agent, then sent off to Russia with 99 to track down some missiles, then they fight some people and there’s a fire and then they save the President somehow. Along the way they tell a few jokes. You’re left wondering what exactly you’d have to do to get with Anne Hathaway.

Don’t get me wrong, the movie does manage to bring some funny to the game, but it feels like funny supplmented by a movie and not the other way around. It’s a shame too, when you see some of the talent attached: Alan Arkin and David Koechner, even cameos by Patrick Warburton and Bill Murray. Bill Murray! The movie’s here-now-there-later story made me feel like a lot of that talent was wasted.

One of these days, Get Smart will come on at 4 o’clock on a Saturday afternoon while you’re vacuuming your living room. You’ll sit down and watch, and you’ll have a real good time. Until then, you’re not missing too much.

5 out of 10 stars