The first time I saw HBO’s Deadwood, I was swept away by it’s horrible language and graphic violence, and I haven’t looked back since. Because HBO cancelled Deadwood a season early - thereby guaranteeing themselves a place in Hell - I’m always on the lookout for Westerns that can live up to it, at least a little bit.
Appaloosa is based off the 2005 novel by Robert B. Parker, about two lawmen-for-hire who come to the defend the small western town from badman Randall Bragg. They spend their days talking tough and pistol-whipping bad guys until seductive temptress Renee Zellweger (who should probably stop doing movies) comes to town and tests their friendship in ways they never thought possible.
I think the biggest thing this movie has going for it is the charisma between Ed Harris’ Virgil Cole and Viggo Mortensen’s Everett Hitch. You see two people who are psychologically good friends. That is, they can spend most of their time together not feeling like they have to talk to each other. Their idiosyncrasies are so internalized that they can deal with each other without having to think about it. It’s this relationship that saves the movie from the moment Renne Zellweger steps off that train with her Bridget Jones accent and bunched-up face.
I will give Renee one thing (even though I hate her), her character was much more rounded-out than the run of the mill damsel in distress you normally see in Western movies. The same is true of Harris and Mortensen. This is why Deadwood was such a great show. These movies are so much more when they focus on the characters, rather than the cattle rustler who gets called out by the sheriff… you know, or whatever.
I think there are too many screenwriters out there who read a book, and when they try adapting it for the screen, they don’t know what to cut, so they try and cram everything in. You see this in movies like Battlefield: Earth and Battlefield: Earth, and the atrocious Battlefield: Earth. You can’t cram 500 pages of book into two hours of movie. I felt like Appaloosa took a different approach. They filmed a movie that follwed the book almost page for page, and then cut out chunks of it to meet it’s two-hour runtime.
There were parts of the movie where the narrative would take this big leap forward and really throw me off. When Renee Zellweger is introduced to Ed Harris (SPOILER ALERT), it’s like, “Hi Mr. Harris, my name’s Renee.” “Well howdy, ma’am.” “Did you hear, Mr. Mortensen? Mr. Harris and I are moving in together.” Oh yeah, they’re moving in to-bwaaaahhhh? How did this happen? They’ve known each other two hours. The last time I moved in with a woman I had known for only two hours I woke up one morning in a bathtub full of ice.
This isn’t the only example. You’ll see it toward the end, as Harris, Mortensen and Irons enter their showdown. In the end, I felt like there were chunks of the movie that I was missing. And while the two leads, joined by the good-in-everything-he-does-even-Alien-vs-Predator-and-that’s-saying-something Lance Henriksen, put in great performances, the zig-zagging plot was a little too distracting. I give this one a B-. Rent it on your fancy-shmancy AT&T U-Verse machine, but don’t fret if you miss it’s run in theaters.
I can imagine that after making the incredibly depressing yet incredibly awesome No County For Old Men, the Coen Brothers looked at their latest crime-caper-gone-awry and said, “Oh it’s good to laugh again.” And laugh we did. Burn After Reading isn’t short on funny, even though it lacks some of the cohesion of other Coen movies like O’ Brother Where Art Thou and The Big Lebowski.
Osbourne Cox is a CIA analyst who quits the Agency after being confronted by his boss about his drinking problem. His wife, Katie, is having an affair and talking to a lawyer about a divorce. At the lawyer’s request, Katie puts all of Osbourne’s financial records on CD, only to lose it at the gym. The disc is found by two employees, Chad Feldheimer and Linda Litzke, who want to use the information to blackmail Osbourne. I don’t know about you, but I bet things don’t work out just like they planned! (Actually I know it doesn’t because I’ve seen the movie.)
What worked. The Coen Brothers are A-list filmmakers, and their movies attract A-list talent. Burn is no exception. Everyone here is at the top of their game. John Malkovich as Tourette’s poster child Osbourne and Brad Pitt as the bumbling Chad deliver the biggest laughs of the entire movie. The always funny J.K. Simmons (who’s great in anything he does, whether he’s barking out orders at the Daily Bugle, or burning swastikas into Beecher’s ass) bows in a hilarious performance as a clueless CIA bigwig. And George Clooney makes men everywhere question their own sexuality.
What didn’t work. There are epic movies, like The Lord of the Rings. There are solid movies, like 3:10 to Yuma. And then there are movies that, for one reason or another, feel like extended television episodes. Burn moves along at a brisk 95 minutes. And while it’s not a direct knock against it, I’ve found that it can be hard to get invested in movies that are too short. The Coens are masters at finding humor in dark situations, and filling their movie with unexpected twists. Burn is no different, but a few unexpected twists may be a little too much for some people.
This was a good movie, and easily one of the summer’s (we’ll lump it in) best comedies, but I can easily think of four or five Coen movies that top it. I give it a B. Take your girlfriend out to see it. Just don’t tell her about all the profanity.
An hour into Traitor, I leaned over to my friend and asked, “So, what’s the point of this, again?” The trailor sets the stage for a pretty good action flick. Don Cheadle plays a government operative who’s gone underground to infiltrate a terrorist organization. Jeff Daniels plays his case officer, handling things for him State-side. It’s kind of like The Bourne Ultimatum. As long as we get some good fight scenes with Don Cheadle crushing a guy’s throat with a book of matches, I’m down. Two hours and one, “I guess Muslims are people too.” later, I felt a little disappointed.
(Beware. There be spoilers here.) Cheadle plays Samir Horn, an Army officer working in Yemin who’s trying to, surprise surprise, infiltrate a group of terrorists. But after a string of bombings throughout Europe, Horn’s case officer begins to wonder if his agent has switched teams. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s what was going on. Jeff Daniels doesn’t show up until about 45 minutes into the movie, and no mention of Cheadle being undercover is made for about an hour. Cheadle’s helping these terrorists plan another attack on the United States, this one involving a string of explosions on buses across the American heartland. While his handlers would have brought him back in long before, Daniels has cleared any record of him from the books so he can complete his mission, which of course is to meet and kill the terrorist bigwigs. Along the way, two FBI officers, played by Guy Pearce and Neal McDonough, investigate Horn, who they aren’t aware is actually on their side.
Speaking of Pearce and McDonough, it turns out FBI work is a million times easier than I ever imagined, because all Guy Pearce did was spend a few minutes in interrogation rooms, telling people that if they gave him some information, he’d be able to help them out. Not surprisingly, 100% of the time, it worked every time. Neal McDonough stands behind him and says sarcastic stuff. As my friend said, the only things missing were sunglasses and the CSI intro music.
I didn’t leave the theater thinking the movie was bad, just very transparent. Is Don Cheadle in too deep? Are the lines between terrorist and freedom-fighter beginning to blur? Do a few extremists speak for the entire Muslim world? You don’t even have to ask, because all those answers are given to you. After seeing the trailer, I was just expecting a different movie. On the upside, Cheadle’s more than capable of taking on the role of leading man. And Said Taghmaoui performs well as Cheadle’s terrorist friend, who at first distrusts him, but gives him his grudging respect as the two talk about how life is like a game of chess as they, get this, play a game of chess! Now that’s DEEP.
While other movies dealing with terrorism and the Middle East are able to deliver their message much more subtlely (Syriana comes to mind), I was surprised not to see a 30-second “The More You Know” spot after the credits with Cheadle telling the audience how Muslims are as rich and diverse a people as any other. It’s a good message, but loses some of it’s impact when it’s spelled out for the audience. I give the movie a C+. It wasn’t horrible, and I could’ve stood to see Cheadle beat someone up with a box of napkins, or at least a pair of blue jeans.
In Portuguese, the title of Saramago’s book translates into something closer to “An Essay On Blindness,” as in, what would the effects on society be if everyone were to suddenly lose their sight? As you can imagine, pretty damn scary. I think one thing literature has taught us is that if something happens to everyone, everywhere, and at the same time, it’s going to be bad. You’d think everyone going blind would be the biggest s**tstorm of all time. Blindness doesn’t disappoint.
When people in a nameless country inexplicably lose their sight, the government is quick to throw them into quarantine. But as their numbers begin to grow and the fear of becoming infected spreads, things quickly spiral out of control. Locked in an abandoned mental hospital, a small group, led by a doctor and his wife - who can still see - must learn to navigate their way through a society that’s coming down around them.
Blindness was originally written in Portuguese, then published in English in 1997. For some reason, it always comes as a surprise that one language never translates exactly into another. Such is the case here, which leads to interesting results in the book’s prose. The not-quite-perfect English makes you feel as if the story is something you’re experiencing and not reading. The almost total lack of punctuation, the dialogue of one character flowing into that of another gives you the feeling that you’re the one who’s blind. I found the device clever here when I found it kind of annoying in other books (I’m looking at you No Country for Old Men).
As is often the case with books like these, there are plenty of “oh sh*t!” moments. You’ll find yourself putting the book down, imagining what life might be like if Julianne Moore were the only person in the world who could see. You’ll also be tempted to close your eyes and try performing the most rudimentary tasks - such as using the toilet - in the dark. Do not be fooled, the consequences are devastating and your wife will probably make me sleep on the couch for what I did to the carpet.
Saramago seems to be a keen student of human nature, and this is one of the most enjoyable parts of the book. You empathize with and understand the characters, because you see yourself in them. You’ll have a hard time not putting yourself in their position, and wondering exactly how delicate society’s balance between order and chaos truly is.
The movie adaptation is due out September 26th, and stars Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo. Check out the tailer below.
I had to toss out my first review, because it turned out not to be a review, but a thirty-stanza poem about my love for Gillian Anderson. It’ll eventually be published in a book I’m writing, tentatively titled “My Love For Gillian Anderson”. I’m shopping it around right now. So watch out for it.
I Want To Believe picks up six years after the series’ end. Our ex-agents are in West Virginia, Mulder still in hiding and Scully a doctor. After the disappearance of an FBI agent, the Bureau is contacted by Father Joe Crissman, a convicted pedophile ex-priest who claims he’s having psychic visions that can help them find her. When Father Joe turns up a cut-off arm buried in the middle of an empty field, the FBI gets in touch with Scully and asks her to send Mulder a message. If he can come and weigh in on whether or not Father Joe is legit, they’ll clear his name. It takes a little prodding, but he accepts, and we’re off!
I’m a huge X-Files fan, so I’ll get my complaints out of the way before anything else. As most people know, the film doesn’t really touch on the show’s mythology. Chris Carter’s reasoning being that he wanted to make the movie as accessible to new viewers as possible. I’m not sure if that was the right decision. The movie might attract a few new people, sure, but the people who are really going to want to see it are fans already. So when the government conspiracy that Mulder and Scully spent a decade trying to uncover is barely hinted at, it makes things a little confusing. Where are Doggett and Reyes? What happened to Gibson Praise? Did Toothpick Man and the Syndicate just give up looking for Mulder? Inquiring minds want to know.
About an hour in, the movie’s plot gets a little muddled and you’re confused in the end as to what the bad guys were actually trying to do. The movie’s two subplots, one dealing with a sick child being treated by Scully and the other with Mulder and Scully’s relationship, almost felt like they were arguing with each other over who was more important. It was a little unnatural and made the movie feel more like an extended episode. Now that that’s over with…
The story definitely feels like The X-Files, and that’s enough to bring a lot of fans back in. As Mulder and Scully, Duchovny and Anderson never disappointed and jump right back into their roles here without missing a beat. And Billy Connolly as Father Joe, along with Amanda Peet and Xziibit, make nice additions to the cast. Watching the movie you realize you’re just happy it’s back.
In the end, going back to The X-Files is like sitting on an old couch. One that’s perfectly grooved to the shape of my ass. Comfortable. Reliable. Revisiting these characters is like going back home, and that’s why I can turn a blind eye to any of the movie’s shortcomings. There’s a scene toward the end of the movie when (**SPOILER ALERT!**) AD Skinner turns up, and you heard half the theater go, “There he is!”. Stuff like that is half the fun of these movies. You go in and your already friends with everybody.
There are a lot of people saying that Carter and co. should have skipped another movie altogether. One complaint I’ve heard is that the show’s become irrelevant since it went off the air. Probably one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. One, it’s only been six years since the show ended. Two, I think audiences are still hungry for these types of stories. I don’t think I can watch FOX for five minutes without having three or four commercials for Fringe thrown in my face. So… me 1. Haters 0.
The movie has a few structure issues, but it’s a worthy edition to the X-Files universe, especially if Carter follows it up with his proposed sequel, dealing with the imminent alien invasion, the date of which was revealed in the series’ last episode. Non-fans won’t mind waiting a few months to check it out, but X-Philes will be eager to jump back on board.
Wow. Wow. The summer blockbuster season might as well pack it in and go home, because it’s over. See you later Step Brothers. Shake a leg Swing Vote, because it’s done son. We’ve been waiting three years for Christopher Nolan’s follow-up to 2005’s Batman Begins, and holy piss, was it worth it. And not only did we get a great film, but the greatest superhero movie ever made.
As Batman continues to clean up the mean streets of Gotham City, desperate criminals are scrambling to save their crumbling empire. Taking advantage of the confusion is one of Gotham’s new breed of criminal, a man they call the Joker. Why does that sound awesome? Because it is awesome.
Watching as all this unfolds is Batman. As the Joker takes control of Gotham’s underworld and the body count begins to rise, Bruce Wayne is forced to ask himself if the creation of such a fantastic hero as Batman is really to blame for all this. If, in his desire to make the city a safer place, he’s only upped the ante in a game he’s not sure he can win. Or rather, a game in which he’s not sure he can do what he needs to in order in win.
I hate to say it, but these types of movies have changed since 9/11. The line between hero and villain has been blurred and they’re presented to us in a much more gritty, realistic way. As far as superheroes are concerned, this method has been met with some criticism. Frank Miller, of Sin City fame, explained it like this…
People are attempting to bring a superficial reality to superheroes which is rather stupid. They work best as the flamboyant fantasies they are. I mean, these are characters that are broad and big. I don’t need to see the sweat patches under Superman’s arms. I want to see him fly.
I think it’s a valid criticism, but not one I necessarily agree with. When superheroes are presented to us as “flamboyant fantasies,” I’m not sure they can progress beyond a certain complexity and ultimately don’t affect us on the level a movie like The Dark Knight does.
The movie’s complexity is served not only by it’s story, but also by it’s actors. Christian Bale, Aaron Eckhart, Gary Oldman. All are in top form from start to finish. And while they were all great and a delight to watch on screen, it was as if God himself looked down on Heath Ledger’s Joker and said, “You are my finest creation.” From his first scene (and it’s AWESOME), his entire performance was brilliant.
There’s a giant internet slap-fight going on right now, with people arguing over who’s better, Heath Ledger or Jack Nicholson from 1989’s Batman. They’re both representative of two different cultural mindsets and I don’t think you can truly compare the two. And while I loved Nicholson’s portrayal and get a little giddy every time I hear the line, “Hubba hubba hubba! Money money money! Who do you trust!”, Ledger’s Joker was much more rounded-out than Nicholson’s and in the end you understand him better. This is really driven home in a scene halfway through the movie (that they’ve hinted at in previews), in which Batman interrogates the Joker at Police HQ. In it, you understand who these two characters are, and why the Joker is considered Batman’s nemesis. For me, it was probably the best part of the whole movie. But then again, I’m stupid like that.
Two small complaints (I’m sorry!). At a hefty 152 minutes, the movie does start to drag a little toward the end. And, Batman does have a few more crazy gadgets that make you scratch your head a little. One of the things I’ve enjoyed most about these two movies is that they don’t really mess with all the crazy bat-crap the comics and the Joel Schumacher movies got bogged down in. But, these are small things and - at the risk of sounding like someone who’s just gulped down a big pitcher full of Batman Kool-Aid - it doesn’t really matter. Everything I liked about this movie completely outweighed the things I didn’t.
The movie is set to make all sorts of money this weekend, so a third installment is as good as in the bank. And honestly, I have no idea where they’re going to take it. Aaron Eckhart plays Gotham D.A. Harvey Dent, and anyone who knows anything about Batman knows what happens to him. With that in mind, I felt that while the focus of the movie would be on the Joker, Dent’s story would set things up for the next film. We’ll just say that all my expectations were dumbfounded. That’s right, they were found to be dumb. I don’t want to spoil too much, but I will say that the Joker doesn’t die. And while I don’t think Nolan would ever try to find anyone to try (because they could only try) and follow up Heath Ledger’s, you’d think they would try and give some resolution to his storyline. I guess we’ll see.
This is the best movie you’re going to see this summer. So if you haven’t seen it already, run out to your nearest IMAX and enjoy it in all it’s six-story, high definition goodness. And then go do it again.
Ever since Hollywood decided it didn’t need to be original to earn money, audiences have had a steady stream of superhero movies thrown their way. These range from the awesome (Iron Man), to the bad (Spiderman), to the downright sh***y (Spiderman). This week audiences will flock to see Hancock, which puts a new spin on an old story.
Will Smith stars as (knock me down with a feather) Hancock, a real life superhero with real life problems. Well, one real life problem - he’s a drunk. This of course leads to real life hilarity as when drunks yell at people, hilarity ensues. Needless to say, Hancock is no Superman, and after having caused millions of dollars in damages to the city of Los Angeles, needs a little help cleaning up his image. Helping him with that is Ray Embrey, played by Jason Bateman. Hancock is going to play nice, and to show how serious he is, he’ll serve jail time for all the trouble he’s caused. That is, until he gets a call from the commissioner…
What did I like about the movie? For one, Will Smith. When Independence Day and Men in Black came out, I think The Fresh Prince of Bel Air was still a little too fresh (*snort*) in our minds for us to take him too seriously as a big-screen actor. He’s paid his dues and proven himself since then, and his performance in Hancock doesn’t disappoint. He plays his part well and his jokes are funny. Adding to the mix is Bateman, who because of Arrested Development can do no wrong with me. You see a little Michael Bluth in every role he plays (it doesn’t work for Steve Carrell, it does work for Jason Bateman). And wait, before you go, we’ve also got Charlize Theron! Who I hear came out of the womb wearing makeup and a white Narciso Rodriguez. These three work a lot of chemistry here and the movie really wouldn’t have been as good without them.
Why wouldn’t the movie have been as good, you ask? Well, Hancock had some trouble finding itself. The movie takes a turn halfway through that the trailers and commercials have done a great job keeping a secret, but will be obvious once you ask yourself if Charlize Theron would really play such a bit part in a big summer movie. Unfortunately, the switch is so secret that once it happens you feel like you’re watching a different movie. And while it’s not as interesting as the one you’ve seen advertised for the past three months, it’s still pretty good, but at 92 minutes doesn’t offer the payoff it should have. Every hero takes a journey, and a big chunk of Hancock’s must have ended up on the cutting-room floor. As we come closer to the end, it seems like the movie is trying to decide whether it likes being an action or a comedy movie more. It gets really uneven, but I’d say is ultimately forgiven because of it’s cast.
Some are saying that Hancock could have been a lot edgier than it was, and while there’s no doubt could have been, I wonder if it would have been the right decision. I think I’ll save the serious stuff for next summer’s Watchmen, and just be content to laugh along with Hancock. Aside from some language, both kids and their parents will have fun here. This will work at the theaters and on a Saturday night dreaming about Charlize Theron.
Let’s go ahead and lay down odds now for when we’ll see the first news report about some idiot fourteen year old who was playing with his dad’s gun and shot up his friend because he thought he could curve the bullet and shoot around him. It’ll happen. It’s a sure thing.
I hadn’t even heard of this movie until a few weeks ago when a friend showed me the trailer, but I gotsta say, holy **** was that ****ing AWESOME! And not awesome in a “wow such a testament to beautiful filmmaking” way, but awesome in that “yeah kill him!” way that is very different yet just as satisfying. Contrary to what your douchebag friend who never got off his Kevin Smith kick says, it’s not a bad thing to enjoy movies who’s main function is to slap you in the face with smash ‘em up fight scenes and cool special effects.
In Wanted, James McAvoy plays Wesley Gibson, the loser inside all of us who’s resigned to spending the rest of his life taking crap from everyone around him. Of course, things take a turn for the awesome when Wesley meets the enigmatic Fox, played by Jolie, who tells him that his father belonged to a super secret guild of assassins, and that they’ve chosen him to hunt down his father’s killer. After that, it’s a rollercoaster ride as Wesley discovers the truth about his father, and the assassins who employed him.
I really don’t have anything bad to say about the movie. Solid acting. I hadn’t seen McAvoy in anything before and really enjoyed his performance. I think he’s probably one of the only actors around his age who could have pulled the roll off. If the movie had starred Tobey Maguire I’m pretty sure I would have hated it. For all those looking to jump on that train, Angelina Jolie shoots lots of guns and looks good doing it. Anyone who’s seen commercials for the movie knows that there’s a certain suspension of disbelief involved. I think a strike in the movie’s favor is that it hits you with an intense story, but so it won’t disappear up it’s own a**, levels things out with humor. And humor that’s actually funny, not that “someone dies and James McAvoy takes off his sunglasses and gives us that, ‘Looks like he’s having a bad day’,” crap we see so much these days.
One knock against the movie is some of it’s backstory. They explain where the Fraternity, as it’s called, comes from and how they choose their targets. Some of this will make you cock your eyebrow a bit. It shouldn’t take you out of things too much.
Go check this one out in the theaters, and then buy the Blu-Ray and watch it over and over again on your awesome Bose soundsystem until your friends don’t come around anymore. For as much as I’ve gushed about this movie, I can’t give it a completely perfect score because that’s reserved only for movies like The Departed and There Will Be Blood, but it hits right up there. Make sure to stay through the end of the credits. In a hidden scene, Wesley is met by Tony Stark, who tells him that he and some friends are putting a special team together. Fantastic.
It’s a rare case when we get a movie that was more interesting than the book it was based off of, but that’s exactly what we got with…
Denzel Washington is a washed-up soldier. Dakota Fanning is the little girl that finally forces her way… into his heart. Along the way, lots of people get killed. Let’s take a look!
1. Mexico City.
Maybe Mexico City doesn’t belong on a list of things we love, because it’s obviously the most dangerous city in the entire world (well, maybe behind Bahgdad. MAYBE.). You go outside, you get kidnapped. And probably have your ear cut off. After your parents are robbed of millions of dollars, you’re dumped in your underwear off the Av Insurgentes Nte. Which obviously is pretty horrible. It’s a pretty picture though.
2. Christopher Walken.
“Listen. Creasy. I live heah. In Mexico. I lihve. Like a king. Ovah heah. And. No. I hahve no ideah. If Gawd. Will fuhgive us. For waht. We’ve done. Heah. Hahve some ribs.”
I love Christopher Walken. And what’s not to love? This guy does nothing but hang out and barbecue.
3. Putting a punk in his place.
“I’m going to tear your family apart piece by piece! YOU UNDERSTAND ME?” Coolest line in the whole movie.
Maybe it’s a good thing the picture is a little blurry. Good guys spend plenty of time getting knocked around by the bad guys, while we in the audience can do little more than cringe and wish it weren’t so. Not in this movie. Creasy has a thing for tearing off people’s fingers, whether it be with a knife, or a sawed-off shotgun, as with this poor bastard.
4. Sticking a bomb up someone’s a**.
Not only did Creasy blow up the guy’s motorcade with a bazooka, he strapped him to the hood of a car in his underwear with a bomb up his butt. And then, when he tried the whole, “Leesten Senior Creesy, I am jus’ a profesional. I am sorry about ‘de leedle gurl,” Denzel roasted him. Fantastic.
5. Sacrificing yourself for the little girl.
He shot everybody’s hands off, and still got Dakota Fanning back. Of course, he had to trade himself to save her, but she’s worth it. And in the end, it didn’t matter. He had already been shot and was half dead anyway. So, just when the bad guys think they’re gonna go to work on him, they look, and he’s slumped over in his seat. It’s the ultimate f*** you! Linda Ronstadt’s Blue Bayou plays us out.
That’s all for this week. Until next time! Send suggestions to move.it.move@gmail.com.
Yahoo! released two clips from The X-Files: I Want to Believe, due out next month. I still have no idea what the hell the movie’s supposed to be about, but it’s gonna be awesome. Enjoy!
The first time I saw HBO’s Deadwood, I was swept away by it’s horrible language and graphic violence, and I haven’t looked back since. Because HBO cancelled Deadwood a season early - thereby guaranteeing themselves a place in Hell - I’m always on the lookout for Westerns that can live up to it, at least a little bit.
