Your typical TV commercials suck, and unless you’re selling alcohol, your typical radio commercials really suck. I understand advertisers have a job to do. They have to explain their product, and at the same make the whole thing interesting/funny enough for the listener to pay attention to. After analyzing hours and hours of radio commercials here at the Move It Move It labs deep in the Mojave Desert, the janitor and myself have figured out why so many of these advertisements (“ads”, they’re called in the “biz”) fall flat. The dialog has very unsubtle transitions between the “funny” and informative parts. You know that real people don’t talk like this. Whilst driving home from work the other day, I heard a commercial for a medical facility (“hospitals”, they’re called in the “biz”) that went more or less like this…
Sabina: So, is Frank feeling any better?
Kathy: Oh yeah, he’s fine. It was just the flu.
Sabina: He looked pretty bad there for a while.
Kathy: Yeah, he really had me scared. That’s why I took him to Jefferson Davis Memorial Hospital, Calmwood County.
Kathy: Yes. Their friendly staff and state-of-the-art facilities had Frank, and me, feeling better in no time!
Sabina: Not to mention your pocketbook!
Kathy: Wait, how did you know?
In the very beginning, Kathy and Sabina sound just like you and me, but when the sellin’ kicks in, they’ve both turned into Encyclopedia Brown with their intimate knowledge of the medical profession.
Sabina: It’s sounds like your experience with Jefferson Memorial was professional and satisfactory.
Kathy: You said it. They even have a fully equipped toxicology clinic and poison control center. Which would be great for your little ones!
Now that they’ve realized just what a powerful impact *product* has had on both of their lives, they’ll close with a joke, because hey, it’s all about fun and having a good time, right?
Sabina: Now if you could only get Frank to mow the lawn!
Kathy: Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder what I’ve done with my life.
Needless to say, I became an alcoholic just for the funny commercials.