LOSTWATCH!! – “Meet Kevin Johnson.”

Lost fans were blindsided tonight, as it was FINALLY revealed that Ben’s mysterious informant on the freighter was in fact Michael, the punk who sold out his friends to escape the island, but not before shooting both Libby, who we loved, and Anna Lucia, who we immediately forgave him for. Ben told Michael that if he followed an exact compass heading, he’d eventually find America. The exact details of that fateful trip are still unknown. All we see is the aftermath inside…

… the name on the street for the Oswald State Correctional Facility.

Lies. Regret. Michael lies in his cell asking himself how he got to this point. He’s let down his friends, but more importantly, his family. Now Walt’s joined the Homeboys and won’t talk to him. Michael goes to McManus and asks if he can visit his son in the Hole. McManus tells him that he’s tired of his crap, but that he hasn’t given up on him yet, and no, he can’t visit Walt. As Michael leaves, he takes one last look back, and can just spy his son watching him. Malcolm David Kelly’s age has gotten to be a problem in recent years, but at least it can’t get any worse.

Michael’s about to hit the gym with Beecher when McManus tells him he’s got a visitor. It’s Tom, who’s uncharacteristically light in the loafers.

Michael: You! What do you want?

Tom: Oh hey Tom, how are you? How’sth the island? Oh great Michael, thanksth.

Michael: How did you find me?

Tom: LOL. We let you go sthilly-buns. Did you seriously think we wouldn’t be keeping tabsth? ^__^

Tom tells Michael about the fake Flight 815 wreckage and says that he’s got one chance at getting out of Oz alive. Infiltrate Charles Widmore’s boat, which is getting ready to set sail for Lost island. Michael agrees, but he doesn’t like it. Tom stages a prison riot and Michael escapes through one of Busmalis’s tunnels. When we see him again he’s no longer Michael Dawson but mild-mannered deckhand Kevin Johnson. When he gets to the freighter, Naomi tells him he’s got a package the lads have just unloaded off the lorrie. It’s from Tom. “Wait a day or two before opening it,” he says. “Until then, enjoy Fiji. I spent a week there one night, if you catch me.” When Michael finally opens the package he finds enough C4 to kill everyone on the ship ten times before they hit the ground. He takes the bomb down to the engine room, sets it up, and…

Ever since Oz, Michael’s been so wound up. This was Tom’s way of telling him to relax. He’s on a boat in the middle of the south Pacific, for Heaven’s sake. He should enjoy himself. Michael laughs and decides to hit the shuffleboard court. He goes up top, where he finds the Tremor brothers shooting things with semi-automatic weapons.

Michael: Hey fellas, I thought this was a rescue mission.

Jeeves: Don’t you have something to mop?

Michael: What?! I ain’t your damn field ******. You lucky ’cause I’m gonna let that one slide.

Fast-forward to the engine room, where Micheal has been telling this entire story to Sayid and Desmond. Sayid is royally pissed and drags Michael by the scruff of his neck up to House’s office, where he tells the doc that “Kevin Johnson” isn’t “Kevin Johnson” at all! He’s Michael Johns– I mean Dawson! Michael just stands there all like, “Dude, shhhut up.” House sits back and twirls his cane before saying, “Intracranial berry aneurysm.” Sayid doesn’t understand. “It’s what killed Minkowski.” House pops a vicodin then heads over to Cuddy’s office.

Back on the island, John calls a Family Council and tells the kids that he’s sorry he’s been so crazy at work lately, and that no, he and their mother aren’t getting a divorce. Ben uses this opportunity to tell Alex that people are coming to the island and everyone is going to die, and because she’s his daughter, she’s sure to suffer more than anyone else. He tells her to take Carl and go to the Temple, which is right next to Space Mountain inside Tomorrowland. She’ll be safe there. Rousseau is cool with it, but asks if there will be any time to stop and build traps.

On their way, they stop at a concession stand to buy a funnel cake. Carl tells Alex, “Look babe, don’t ever forget — brrbbbllleb!” just as a bullet rips right through his neck, tearing it apart just like a stick of butter would be ripped apart by a bullet. Rousseau looks up from her trap and yells, “It’s a trap!” before being shot herself. With her last breath, she tells Alex to run as fast as she can, to which Alex replies, “I surrender!”

And before we knew it, it was over. Five weeks until the next new episode. It sucks, but is still better than the seven months we’ll have to wait before the start of season 5. We’re down, but not out, so stay tuned to this space for more new (and maybe not so new, *wink*) editions of LOSTWATCH!!


One response to “LOSTWATCH!! – “Meet Kevin Johnson.”

  1. I love the different message when the bomb goes off. If only that’s what it really said. 😛

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