Up this week is the first R-rated movie I ever snuck into…
1. The endless quoting.
Head over to IMDB’s Lebowski quote page and you’ll find the entire script cut and pasted there. Some of our favorites…
“You mark that frame an eight, and you’re entering a world of pain.”
“What the hell is this?” — “My dirty undies, Dude.”
“Life does not stop and start at your convenience you miserable piece of s**t.” — “What’s wrong with Walter, Dude?”
Any movie that reduces a nationality or ethnic group to it’s base stereotype is awesome on general principal. Yes, it might be smart or responsible to learn about the rich German culture, but it’s much funnier to think of them all as goose-stepping, bratwurst-eating National-Socialists who say things like, “Ya Lebowski. You give us ze money or vee cutoff your chonson.”
3. Bootleg porno.
Seriously, who’s making this stuff? Music, production, acting, story, whatever. This stuff is horrible, but the names are big, fat pieces of comedy gold, every time.
“Which one’s Logjammin’?”
4. Shomer Shabbos.
“Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means I don’t work, I don’t get in a car, I don’t f**king ride in a car, I don’t pick up the phone, I don’t turn on the oven, and I sure as s**t DON’T F**KING ROLL! Shomer Shabbos!”
5. The Jesus.
Did John Turturro licking his bowling ball get funnier after you find out he’s a pederast? Seeing him wearing a tight purple jumpsuit was both hilarious and oddly arousing. Everything about him, from his jewelry and hairnet to his thick accent was like a Perfect Storm of hilarity.
I know some of you might be saying, hey, aren’t there only a few scenes in The Big Lebowski with guns? Yes, that is correct. While this one might not fit in with our premise as well as other movies like The Departed, come on. It’s The Big Lebowski, and that’s logic you can’t argue with.
Something we missed? Movies you’d like to see reviewed? Write us at firstname.lastname@example.org.