This week, we take a look at the best science fiction movie Bruce Willis ever starred in, in his long, illustrious history of starring in big-budget sci-fi movies.
1. The future.
As long as my lunch is delivered by old Oriental guys in flying boats, the people at McDonald’s wear styrofoam uniforms and Deebo from Friday is President of the Galaxy, count me in.
2. “Leeloo Dallas multi-pass.”
“Yeah multi-pass, she knows it’s a multi-pass. Leeloo Dallas. My wife. We’re newlyweds. We just met. You know how it is, we bump into each other, sparks happen, yeah she knows it’s a multi-pass! Anyway, we’re in love.”
3. Hot alien women with crap coming out of their heads.
And this doesn’t just go for The Fifth Element. How many times have all you sci-fi nerds seen Deanna Troi dressed up as a Romulan or that chick with the three boobs in Total Recall and said to yourselves, “Yeah I could get with that.” Degenerates. All of you. But yeah I could get with that too.
4. Getting this from this.
Truly we live in an age of wonder when we can take a burnt piece of broken off hand, put it in a microwave and get Milla Jovovich. Like a big, sexy thing of Jiffy Pop.
5. Ruby Rhod.
How does he get his hair to do that? Ruby almost makes me want to say, screw the joke, let’s just quote stuff. But we’ll give it a shot anyway. He’s probably the only guy I know who could wear that leopard-print jumpsuit and still look straight– well… no I guess he was pretty gay. Forget it…
“This boy is hotter than hot. He’s hot-HOT!! The right size, right build, right hair, right on! Right on, right on!”
That’s all for this week! Remember to send suggestions to firstname.lastname@example.org.