LOSTWATCH!! – “I don’t like secrets.”

When we last saw Sun and Jin, they had been held for questioning by Homeland Security. From the defeated look on Jin’s face, we can only assume the experience was less than pleasant for him.

They get a warmer reception at their hotel, although it still isn’t doing much for their perception of Americans.

Once they get up to their room, Sun tries to loosen the mood.

But in the end, Jin’s bruised confidence in his masculinity is no match for Sun’s feminine wiles.

And he’s back. It’s amazing what a night of passion and unbridled ecstasy can do for a person.

And if you can believe it, Sun’s even happier than he is.

Before Jin has to come up with an excuse, he’s saved by a knock at the door.

When Sun opens the door, she finds an old friend (new friend? I don’t know anymore).

It’s Martin Keamy, who can be a real EGGHEAD. But don’t piss him off, ’cause you wouldn’t want him to CRACK your SHELLS legs! He tells Jin that if he doesn’t get his money, things will not end well for him.

And the same goes for Sun.

The Federales confiscated all of Jin’s money at the airport, so Sun is going to have to bail them out with her private account. She’ll head to the bank with Keamy’s weird translator friend while Jin goes with Keamy to his next business appointment. Things aren’t looking good once they get there. Keamy’s tied Jin up inside a refrigerator while he deals with another matter.

Outside, Jin can hear a struggle — and gunshots! Jin chews through his restraints, then chews through the refrigerator door for some reason. We he goes out into the kitchen, everyone’s dead. Everyone except for the translator guy, who’s come back with Sun and is now sticking a gun in Jin’s back. But Jin’s got the upper hand, because he knows KARATE. Well, he doesn’t really, but he’s Asian, so he tricks the translator by pretending he knows KARATE.

One lucky shot.

Sorry, sorry. That was the last one. I promise. Anyway, what do Jin and Sun do now?

Yeah! So on the island, Jin is packing up to get the hell out of Dodge. Locke is out foraging in the jungle for berries or twigs or some crazy crap like that, so now’s the perfect time to go. He could have gotten out in time, but Sawyer held him up.

Suddenly, they’re attacked! Guess by who.

While he’s unconscious, Jin is plagued by horrible nightmares of this crazy man-woman violating him. When he wakes up, he’s alone in her dark sex dungeon.

Jin turns the movie on, but it takes him a minute to get the reference.

Suddenly the lights turn on and the woman from the jungle comes inside.

Zoe runs her hand seductively down her adam’s apple. The air is electric with sexual energy. The tiny hairs of her mustache stand on end. But Jin just isn’t having it.

Widmore tells Jin that there’s so much he’s missed in the years he and Sun have been separated. To prove it — because the fact that Jin’s missed things in three years is something that needed to be proved — Widmore shows him a bunch of creepy pictures he’s taken of Sun and their daughter.

And speaking of Sun, things have been kind of hard on her these past few years, and it’s all starting to bubble up to the surface.

A woman just can’t win, can she? Always the fixer, Jack goes to see if there’s anything he can do to help.

I think that went really well. But if for some reason Jack only pissed Sun off more, wait until you see what happens when Locke drops by.

When Jack and the others finally get Sun back to camp, they discover that she can’t speak English.

It looks like they’ve got a little bit of time to kill, so that night Jack tries smoothing things over with Sun.


One response to “LOSTWATCH!! – “I don’t like secrets.”

  1. Hilarious!

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