Tag Archives: Ronald D. Moore

The Lost Supper

Is it ripping-off Battlestar Galactica? Absolutely. Am I completely gaybones over it? You betcha. Click for a larger version!


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Caprica, like the Japanese, promises sexy robots

SyFy has released draft posters for the upcoming Battlestar prequel series, Caprica. And I hope you all realize that Caprica is giving us a glimpse into our own future here. Keep your eyes on the Japanese and those robots they keep working on. Sure, we say they’re freaky-looking, but on the inside, we’re cheering them on.

You can check out the rest of the posters at io9.

FRAK ATTACK!! – “You are the harbinger of death Kara Thrace.”

Last time on Battlestar Galactica, tensions ran high as Starbuck and Lieutenant Commander Hunter faced-off over the launch keys to the Alabama‘s nuclear missiles. Pushed to the breaking point, Helo and his band of Merry Men relieve Starbuck of duty. But before anyone can breathe a sigh of relief, big dumb Anders stumbles out of his quarters.

Anders: Man, I am so wasted right no– woah. What’s going on?

Anders is all whacked out on Jello-shooters. Needless to say, everything gets shot to s**t, and Gaeta gets shot in the leg.

Everyone’s standing around, with their sweaty muscles, breathing hard and holding guns to everyone’s heads. Starbuck has an idea – she and a few others will jump to Leoben’s baseship to see if his story checks out. Helo nods. That sounds reasonable. Gaeta says his leg hurts. Anyway, they jump to the baseship, or peices of the baseships.

Athena: Looks like we found what’s left of them.

Theoden: So much death.

President Roslin is in sickbay, undergoing diloxin treatments for her cancer. A few beds down, she hears another patient complaining about her treatment. She walks over to take a peek, and guess who it is? Major Kira Nerys from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine!

Roslin: Hi, I’m Laura Roslin. What’s your name?

Kira: We don’t have time for this! Tell the Captain there are five Dominion warships headed straight for the Station!

Roslin: I’m sorry, I don’t get that reference.

Kira tells her to make sure Quark isn’t up to any of his old tricks.

On the baseship, Starbuck and co. learn about the Cylon civil war from Natalie. Natalie says that if they can’t bring things to a decisive end within the next 24 hours, the rebels will seize the capitol. Athena is mobbed by a gaggle of Sharons. The whole thing brings back a lot of unpleasant memories for her.

Athena: I’d really just like to be left alone right now.

Sharon #1: Me too.

Sharon #2: Me three.

Athena: Please. Stop.

Sharon #3: Me four.

Sharon #4: Me five.

Athena: I hate my life.

Back in sickbay, Roslin tries talking to Major Kira again. This whole cancer thing has got her on a religious kick, and she thinks maybe the two of them can find some common ground. Again, she’s disappointed.

Kira: Everyone says he’s just another Starfleet captain, but he’ll always be the Emmisary to me.

Leoben has convinced the other Cylons to let Starbuck see the Hybrid, who’s been coming up with some crazy stuff lately. Her room looks like a Friday night at the UC-Berkeley student union. Smoke, jazz, bohemians snapping their fingers, with the Hybrid right in the middle.

Hybrid: People packed in metal tubes. Cigarettes, death sticks, a clever ruse. The will to live sucked out of me. Teacher never told us this is how life would be. Groovy man.

Crowd: *snap* *snap* *snap* *snap*

Natalie: Screw this. Let’s just unbox D’Anna.

Leoben: Cool beans.

The clock’s just about run out on the Demetrius, and Helo is getting ready to jump back to the Galactica. But suddenly, just before they take off, the baseship appears. Success!

Starbuck: Looks like everything worked out just fine, Helo.

Helo: It sure did, Starbuck. It sure did.

Late that night, Adama and Roslin sit up talking to each other. Adama asks if she’s met anyone or had any experiences that have changed her perspective on things lately.

Roslin: There was this one woman I met in sickbay.

Adama: Tell me about her.

Roslin: Hmm? Oh. Nothing. She’s dead now.

The End

It’s like some wonderful drug.

You know what I love most about being a fan of Battlestar Galactica? Waiting a year between seasons, getting new episodes for three months, and then having to wait another year for the series to wrap. It doesn’t help that Ron Moore and company have created one of the best science fiction series in the history of the genre, or that the actors are one of the best ensemble casts on television today. Maybe if this were some other show, like Perfect Strangers, nobody would give a crap. I can wait a few years to find out what’s going to happen between Balki and Mary Anne.

I know there are a few people who were pretty pissed about Friday’s mid-season finale. I know there are people who have complained that season four has been a little uneven. I know there are those who say that BSG has been sliding downhill ever since season two. Not me. I don’t care what Ron Moore and company churn out. The Galactica could have reached Earth, and Adama, Lee and all the rest could have swooped down to the surface on their flying motorcycles, found Charlton Heston screaming at the Statue of Liberty and I would have eaten it all up and asked for seconds.

Since we’re all obsessive nerds let’s take a few moments to ask pointless questions…

1. Earth? – Some say that this isn’t Earth. That we saw no identifying landmasses. We didn’t see the Moon. The Fleet didn’t detect any satellites. This is just another bait and switch put on by the show’s writers.

2. Earth. – Others say that yes, they’ve reached Earth. Ron Moore is quoted as saying that the show would end with the Fleet reaching Earth, but he didn’t know how long that story would take to tell. The implication being that they might reach Earth before the last episode. So, here we are.

3. Only 4 in the Fleet? – D’Anna said that only four of the Final Five are inside the Fleet. That dashes any speculation that Adama or Roslin or any of the other regulars would come out proclaiming to be the fifth and final Cylon.

I’m sure some of you can think of many more things you’d like answered. Now, as we settle in to the long, cold 8-9 months before the second batch of episodes picks up, there is a bit of good news. The Watcher reports that the second half of BSG’s fourth season might be expanded another hour to accommodate Ron Moore’s super-sized series finale script. Also, at this point, at least one of the three proposed BSG TV movies looks like a sure thing. Ahh. Just the thought makes me all warm inside.

So, how’d you like the finale? Tell us your opinion in the comments section.

FRAK ATTACK!! – “Bad. This is really bad.”

We open up on the Demetrius, two months into her mission to find Earth. Helo’s telling Starbuck that they’re due to meet the Galactica soon. Starbuck motions him over and shows him a starchart.

Helo: Starbuck, we’ve searched these grids twice already. You really think we’re going to find something this time?

Starbuck: Oh no. There’s no way we’ll find anything. But we just might find something.

Helo: ??

Back on the Galatica, Tyrol’s jumping rope. He realizes that with Cally gone, nobody’s going to want a bald, overweight ex-hangar chief who’s now been relegated to changing lightbulbs. Nicky’s been neglected and crawls around in a diaper that hasn’t been changed in two weeks.

Starbuck and Hot Dog are out exploring when they pick up a Cylon Heavy Raider on DRADIS. It’s Leoben, who tells Starbuck that it really is him. He’s been to Earth, and he’s going to take them here. What? Why the hell should we have to wait a year to find out what happens? Leoben comes aboard the Demetrius and tells Starbuck that she needs to see the Hybrid. She’s been to Earth, and she’s going to take them there.

Tory has a habit of finding members of the Tyrol family standing alone in viper launch tubes. That’s where she finds the chief, contemplating the strange circumstances surrounding his wife’s death.

Tory: You don’t want to do this. Galen, he’s your son.

Tyrol: What?

Tory: Oh, I’m sorry. I was thinking of something else. So… what’s up?

On the Demetrius, Anders walks in to find Starbuck and Leoben listening to Unchained Melody and making pottery. Anders goes totally bats**t and slams Leoben up against a wall. Leoben proposes an alliance between the Cylons and the Colonials. Anders flexes his muscles and is all like, “As if.”

Tyrol takes a trip down to Baltar’s lair to listen to one of his sermons. Baltar spots him and says that if Cally were here, she would want the two of them to be friends. As Tyrol leaves, Baltar calls out, “If you’d like, I can tell you about a few other things your wife, ‘liked’.” *snicker* Tyrol crushes his windpipe.

Leoben’s heavy raider blows up, killing sergeant Mathias, who was out there walking around on it for some reason. Starbuck flips out, which seems to be getting popular on the Demetrius. She goes down and takes it out of Leoben. Starbuck asks him what happened to her during the two months she was gone.

Leoben: You’re an angel, and you’re going to lead your people home.

Starbuck: Oh yeah well I guess I can see-bwaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh?!

Baltar feels real bad for what he said to Tyrol, so he goes down to his quarters to apologize for the whole thing. He says he’s sorry, then talks about his plans for when they get to Earth and he even reads a little from a screenplay he’s writing. Tyrol’s asleep and misses the whole thing.

Starbuck comes out from her cave to ramble a little bit about Mathias and and duty and honor, and how everything will be alright once they hook up with Leoben’s basestar.

Helo: Oh well I guess that sounds pretty goo-bwaaaaaaaaaahhhhh?!

What will happen next time? Stay tuned over the next few weeks as I struggle to catch up with FRAK ATTACK!!

FRAK ATTACK!! – “You are perfect just as you are.”

Friday’s episode opened with Cally’s memorial service. As Tyrol stares off into space, Roslin leans over to Adama and says, “All this pomp. When I die just put me in a box and bury me in the backyard.” Adama tells her that he could never do that, which is what Roslin wanted to hear in the first place. Tyrol continues to stare at the wall, and people eventually get uncomfortable and leave. It’s all very sad. As Tigh and Tory try and slip out the door, Tyrol grabs them.

Tyrol: Cylons!

Tigh: Sorry about your loss, Chief.

Tory: Yeah. Sorry, Chief.

Tyrol: Cylons!

Tigh: … the Hell?

Tigh’s been visiting Six in the brig and asking her what it’s like to be a Cylon. When she asks why he won’t stop bothering her, he says, “Pssh. You think I want to be here?” Then he sits down on her bed.

Tory pays a visit to Baltar, who’s looking more and more like Chris McDonald from Requiem for a Dream. He brings Tory up on stage.

Baltar: We gotta winnah! I said we got a winnah!

Audience: Juice by Tory! Juice by Tory! Ooooooooooh, Tory!

But before Tory’s awarded the grand prize, a bunch of Mad Max extras run in and paint all over the walls and pull everyone’s hair.

Down in the hangar deck, Tyrol’s forgotten to replace a crucial component in Racetrack’s raptor, and when they take it out, one of the engines blows and they’re forced to make a crash landing. The raptor smashes into the deck and explodes. As the wreckage burns and explodes even more, Racetrack and Skulls’ screams are drowned out only by the roar of the flames… and boy are they mad when they WALK OUT OF IT five minutes later. Tyrol is like whatevs, and asks Figursky what his major malfunction is.

In return for being humiliated on his show, Baltar and his followers attack a local church, which made us all wonder, what the hell was this chick drawing? A bird? An ass?

Tigh wanders into the brig nonchalantly. Six asks him what he’s doing there, again.

Tigh: Oh… heeey. I didn’t know you’d be here. So… what’s goin’ on?

Roslin takes a few minutes to visit Baltar in the brig. Now that she’s dying again the gloves are coming off, and if Baltar doesn’t check his s**t, she’s gonna take him down, all the way to China Town. Baltar tells her that he hairsprays his hair at least five times a day and he can still run his fingers through it.

Adama goes down to Joe’s to show everyone what a normal guy he is. When he sees Tyrol staring off into space, he again tries consoling him about Cally. Tyrol flips out and starts screaming about how a life on a Battlestar isn’t the life he chose. All he ever wanted to do was move down to Cabo, live on a fishing boat and bang waitresses. So, thanks life.

Lee’s rousing rabbles at another Quorum meeting, railing against the ban on free assembly that President Roslin’s imposed. Roslin, who’s looking more and more like Howard Hughes, complains about germs and unveils a plan to disenfranchise minorities. She’s also talking about setting aside money and buying up casinos along the Strip.

Later, Six wakes up to find Tigh unpacking his things in her cell. He’s real sorry he woke her up. She gets mean and lays hands on him. Not one to be made a fool of, Tigh gets mean right back. Then he gets mean all the way down to the floor in a puddle of his own blood. And we see his gross eye hole. It’s all very sexual.

Baltar and his fan club make their way back to their dungeon, but are blocked by a marine. He says that the maximum allowable number of people are already inside, and no one else can go in. He tells them all to leave, but Baltar beats himself up then throws himself into a glass table and some shelves. He crawls, bloody and broken, laughing and clutching at the Marine’s legs.

All of the sudden, Lee pops out of a trashcan and announces that a stunning blow has been struck against the forces of religious persecution. Everyone claps and a party is planned for later that evening. After having the s**t knocked out of him, Baltar makes a speech and tells everyone that their homework assignment is to get in a fight and lose. All his girlfriends stand around and cry. In the back, Six is checking out Tory. I have a feeling that even in it’s final season, BSG will take us to new sexual heights.

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FRAK ATTACK!! – “I wanna frak.”

Are we interested in being taken to new sexual heights aboard a Cylon resurrection ship? Yes. Veeery interested.

Down in Tyrol’s quarters, Nicholas is crying. Always the responsible mother, Cally stumbles around, drinking booze and popping pills. Things haven’t been so great with Tyrol lately. Cally knows it’s her fault and is trying to chase her guilt away with the brownest of the brown liquors. She decides to go down to Joe’s bar to find her husband and apologize, only to find him with that whore Tory! Tyrol’s indignant; can’t two friends have a drink, stroke each other’s arms and talk about all these new feelings they’re having? How insecure is she?

Lee’s just taken his Quorum position. He anxious to get down to business, but Zarek tells him that after the Baltar trial, President Roslin will probably keep him on the sidelines.

Lee: I had some bills I wanted to discuss. Projects Delegate Cowen was pushing before she died.

Roslin: Mr. Adorma, why don’t you discuss us all up some coffee. Thaaanks.

Meanwhile, Nicholas is crying. On the Demetrius, emo-Starbuck has gone batsh*t insane and spends most of her time skulking in the shadows and smearing poop on the walls of her quarters. Anders finds her painting a face on a volleyball. Starbuck says his name is Wilson and he’s going to help them on their way to Earth. Anders is skeptical. In a totally unforeseen plot twist, they yell at each other and have sex.

Back on the Basestar, the Brothers Cavil announce that they’ve seen the error of their ways and want to end the feud between the seven Cylon models. They agree to stop lobotomizing the raiders and unbox the D’Anna line.

Cavil: We’ll just need to travel to a secret location to upload her information.

Natalie: Well I don’t forsee any problems with that. Agreed.

In her quarters, Cally finds a mysterious note about a meeting in weapons locker 1701D (ZOMGEASTEREGGZFTW!!1!). Now’s her chance to catch Tyrol and Tory in the act. Because her diet consists mainly of booze and pills, she’s able to squeeze in between a crack in the wall and spy on Tigh, Tyrol and Tory, who are still meeting every week to talk about how weird it is now that they they’re Cylons. Their meetings always follow a strict schedule. First, Tigh yells at someone. The Chief paces around and looks like he’s deep in thought, then Tory says something weird. Tigh tells them all to go frak themselves, and they break. Anyway, it certainly seems to be raining s**t on Cally.

Natalie’s basestars jump to the specified coordinates. For some reason, the resurrection ship doesn’t follow. In a move that surprises no one, Natalie and friends are ambushed by a group of Cavil’s basestars and destroyed. As the ship blows up around her, the camera closes in and Natalie says, “Ay dios mio.” Nicholas starts crying.

Cally runs. Runs, runs to her quarters and grabs Nicholas, who starts crying. She takes him down to the hangar deck and locks both of them in a launch tube. Suddenly Tory appears. She plays nice, inches closer and closer, and then CYLON PUUUUUNNCCH!!1! She knocks Cally clear across the room and runs out with Nicholas, who starts crying. A minute later she opens the tube hatch and launches Cally out into space. Will the crew of the Galactica be able to rescue her? Tune in next week to find out!

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