Monthly Archives: February 2009

Orphans, smile, and be happy.

Slowly but surely, information is leaking in on the upcoming Arrested Development movie. This comes from Mitch Hurwitz, at a panel for his upcoming show, “Sit Down, Shut Up,” at this weekend’s WonderCon…

Here’s what’s going on with the movie. Everyone goes off and has careers and that kind of thing, so it’s been a little challenging to schedule everybody together, but everyone who has agreed to make this movie has agreed to make this movie, and we’re going to make the movie. I haven’t written it yet, so I’ll be accepting pitches. We’re determined to do this. It was a great joy and priviledge, all kidding aside, to do a show that took risks and with such a wonderful cast and wonderful writers. For us, it’s irresistible. Here’s an interesting thing about it. When we did the show, one of the things that really made it work is that we didn’t hold ourselves up to any standard. We got a lot of positive critical recommendations, but we even kind of ignored those and just did what was funny to us, and kind of remained the underdog in a great way. It was very clear early on that we weren’t going to be a big hit, so it really was a labor of love. Now suddenly, there is a bar to hit. I think the key to this is once we get as many pieces as we’re going to, which appears we have, we’ll just dive in and have fun and see if we can create the same thing. But we’re excited about it.

Cool, huh? Remember everyone, these next five years are going to go by quick!



Up first this week is the trailer for April’s The Mutant Chronicles. I’m not really sure what this one is about, but it looks like a mix between Judge Dredd, Saving Private Ryan, and the Walter M. Miller novel, A Canticle for Leibowitz, which really puts the kaibosh on my screenplay, Judge Dredd Saves Private Leibowitz. No. That’s horrible. It really puts the kaibosh on my screenplay, Judge Dredd Sav— dammit!

Next up we’ve got the trailer for Franklyn, starring Ryan Phillippe. In this one, Phillippe plays a giant Tootsie Roll Pop that’s covered with toilet paper and looks like a ghost for Halloween. And that’s about it.

Lastly, we have the international teaser for Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian. When asked about why he felt the need to film a sequel, Ben Stiller said, “Budget cuts forced us to slash the fun and excitement out of the original. And, well, we all just kind of felt like we could do better.” Unfortunately, budget cuts have forced the producers to dramatically downsize both the fun and excitement of the sequel. All of it. This movie’s going to be horrible.

The 2009 Oscar Winners

Here’s something you won’t find anywhere else, the winners from last night’s Academy Awards! But first, a couple of our favorite moments from the show. Enjoy!

Now, the winners…

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Paramount and Warner Bros.), A Kennedy/Marshall Production, Kathleen Kennedy, Frank Marshall and Ceán Chaffin, Producers
Frost/Nixon (Universal), A Universal Pictures, Imagine Entertainment and Working Title Production,Brian Grazer, Ron Howard and Eric Fellner, Producers
Milk (Focus Features), A Groundswell and Jinks/Cohen Company Production, Dan Jinks and Bruce Cohen, Producers
The Reader (The Weinstein Company), A Mirage Enterprises and Neunte Babelsberg Film GmbH Production, Nominees to be determined
Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight), A Celador Films Production,Christian Colson, Producer

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Paramount and Warner Bros.), David Fincher
Frost/Nixon (Universal), Ron Howard
Milk (Focus Features), Gus Van Sant
The Reader (The Weinstein Company), Stephen Daldry
Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight), Danny Boyle

Richard Jenkins – The Visitor (Overture Films)
Frank Langella – Frost/Nixon (Universal)
Sean Penn – Milk (Focus Features)
Brad Pitt – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Paramount and Warner Bros.)
Mickey Rourke – The Wrestler (Fox Searchlight)

Anne Hathaway – Rachel Getting Married (Sony Pictures Classics)
Angelina Jolie – Changeling (Universal)
Melissa Leo – Frozen River (Sony Pictures Classics)
Meryl Streep – Doubt (Miramax)
Kate Winslet – The Reader (The Weinstein Company)

Josh Brolin – Milk (Focus Features)
Robert Downey Jr. – Tropic Thunder (DreamWorks, Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount)
Philip Seymour Hoffman – Doubt (Miramax)
Heath Ledger – The Dark Knight (Warner Bros.)
Michael Shannon – Revolutionary Road (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount Vantage)

Amy Adams – Doubt (Miramax)
Penélope Cruz – Vicky Cristina Barcelona (The Weinstein Company)
Viola Davis – Doubt (Miramax)
Taraji P. Henson – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Paramount and Warner Bros.)
Marisa Tomei – The Wrestler (Fox Searchlight)

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Screenplay by Eric Roth, Screen story by Eric Roth and Robin Swicord
Doubt (Miramax), Written by John Patrick Shanley
Frost/Nixon (Universal), Screenplay by Peter Morgan
The Reader (The Weinstein Company), Screenplay by David Hare
Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight), Screenplay by Simon Beaufoy

Frozen River (Sony Pictures Classics), Written by Courtney Hunt
Happy-Go-Lucky (Miramax), Written by Mike Leigh
In Bruges (Focus Features), Written by Martin McDonagh
Milk (Focus Features), Written by Dustin Lance Black
WALL-E (Walt Disney), Screenplay by Andrew Stanton, Jim Reardon, Original story by Andrew Stanton, Pete Docter

The Baader Meinhof Complex A Constantin Film Production, Germany
The Class (Sony Pictures Classics), A Haut et Court Production, France
Departures (Regent Releasing), A Departures Film Partners Production, Japan
Revanche (Janus Films), A Prisma Film/Fernseh Production, Austria
Waltz with Bashir (Sony Pictures Classics), A Bridgit Folman Film Gang Production, Israel

Bolt (Walt Disney), Chris Williams and Byron Howard
Kung Fu Panda (DreamWorks Animation, Distributed by Paramount), John Stevenson and Mark Osborne
WALL-E (Walt Disney), Andrew Stanton

Changeling (Universal), Art Direction: James J. Murakami, Set Decoration: Gary Fettis
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Art Direction: Donald Graham Burt, Set Decoration: Victor J. Zolfo
The Dark Knight (Warner Bros.), Art Direction: Nathan Crowley, Set Decoration: Peter Lando
The Duchess (Paramount Vantage, Pathé and BBC Films), Art Direction: Michael Carlin, Set Decoration: Rebecca Alleway
Revolutionary Road (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount Vantage), Art Direction: Kristi Zea, Set Decoration: Debra Schutt

Changeling (Universal), Tom Stern
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Claudio Miranda
The Dark Knight (Warner Bros.), Wally Pfister
The Reader (The Weinstein Company), Chris Menges and Roger Deakins
Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight), Anthony Dod Mantle

Australia (20th Century Fox), Catherine Martin
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Jacqueline West
The Duchess (Paramount Vantage, Pathé and BBC Films), Michael O’Connor
Milk (Focus Features), Danny Glicker
Revolutionary Road (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount Vantage), Albert Wolsky

The Betrayal (Nerakhoon) (Cinema Guild), A Pandinlao Films Production, Ellen Kuras and Thavisouk Phrasavath
Encounters at the End of the World (THINKFilm and Image Entertainment), A Creative Differences Production, Werner Herzog and Henry Kaiser
The Garden A Black Valley Films Production, Scott Hamilton Kennedy
Man on Wire (Magnolia Pictures), A Wall to Wall Production, James Marsh and Simon Chinn
Trouble the Water (Zeitgeist Films), An Elsewhere Films Production, Tia Lessin and Carl Deal

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall
The Dark Knight (Warner Bros.), Lee Smith
Frost/Nixon (Universal), Mike Hill and Dan Hanley
Milk (Focus Features), Elliot Graham
Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight), Chris Dickens

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Greg Cannom
The Dark Knight (Warner Bros.), John Caglione, Jr. and Conor O’Sullivan
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (Universal), Mike Elizalde and Thom Floutz

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Alexandre Desplat
Defiance (Paramount Vantage), James Newton Howard
Milk (Focus Features), Danny Elfman
Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight), A.R. Rahman
WALL-E (Walt Disney), Thomas Newman

“Down to Earth” from WALL-E (Walt Disney), Music by Peter Gabriel and Thomas Newman, Lyric by Peter Gabriel
“Jai Ho” from Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight), Music by A.R. Rahman, Lyric by Gulzar
“O Saya” from Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight), Music and Lyric by A.R. Rahman and Maya Arulpragasam

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Paramount and Warner Bros.), David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce and Mark Weingarten
The Dark Knight (Warner Bros.), Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo and Ed Novick
Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight), Ian Tapp, Richard Pryke and Resul Pookutty
WALL-E (Walt Disney),Tom Myers, Michael Semanick and Ben Burtt
Wanted (Universal), Chris Jenkins, Frank A. Montaño and Petr Forejt

The Dark Knight (Warner Bros.), Richard King
Iron Man (Paramount and Marvel Entertainment), Frank Eulner and Christopher Boyes
Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight), Tom Sayers
WALL-E (Walt Disney), Ben Burtt and Matthew Wood
Wanted (Universal),Wylie Stateman

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Eric Barba, Steve Preeg, Burt Dalton and Craig Barron
The Dark Knight (Warner Bros.), Nick Davis, Chris Corbould, Tim Webber and Paul Franklin
Iron Man (Paramount and Marvel Entertainment), John Nelson, Ben Snow, Dan Sudick and Shane Mahan

The Conscience of Nhem En A Farallon Films Production, Steven Okazaki
The Final Inch A Vermilion Films Production, Irene Taylor Brodsky and Tom Grant
Smile Pinki A Principe Production, Megan Mylan
The Witness – From the Balcony of Room 306 A Rock Paper Scissors Production, Adam Pertofsky and Margaret Hyde

La Maison en Petits Cubes A Robot Communications Production, Kunio Kato
Lavatory – Lovestory A Melnitsa Animation Studio and CTB Film Company Production, Konstantin Bronzit
Oktapodi (Talantis Films) A Gobelins, L’école de l’image Production, Emud Mokhberi and Thierry Marchand
Presto (Walt Disney) A Pixar Animation Studios Production, Doug Sweetland
This Way Up A Nexus Production, Alan Smith and Adam Foulkes

Auf der Strecke (On the Line) (Hamburg Shortfilmagency), An Academy of Media Arts Cologne Production, Reto Caffi
Manon on the Asphalt (La Luna Productions), A La Luna Production, Elizabeth Marre and Olivier Pont
New Boy (Network Ireland Television), A Zanzibar Films Production, Steph Green and Tamara Anghie
The Pig An M & M Production, Tivi Magnusson and Dorte Høgh
Spielzeugland (Toyland) A Mephisto Film Production, Jochen Alexander Freydank

LOSTWATCH!! – “Jacob sent me.”

The episode opens with Desmond, the drunken Scot, running like a drunk through some sort of ethnic flea market. Did we mention he was drunk?

Desmond: Hwahaheeey! Ah need ah doctah! Mah wife is havin’ a bay-beh! Is thea n’ary a doctah in tha’ hooooose! Wha? Five quid for peanuts? Gedouddahere!

Luckily, a doctor follows Desmond to his boat, where he finds Penny, drunk! in the midst of childbirth!

Desmond: Can ‘ye help hah, brotha?

Doctor: Ah yesh. I use, anchen’ Chinee seekaret.

Penny gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. Unfortunately, the doctor and his advanced island medicine think he’s a witch and throws him off a cliff.

Now it’s later, and Desmond has a new kid. They’re on their way to an island. A very special island, that Desmond thought he’d never see again. It’s called the Land of the Lost, and it’s filled with the biggest dinosaurs you ever imagined. As Desmond tells all this to his son, Penny comes out.

Desmond: And yah dahd’s jus’ gonna look a’roun’ for a few hours, an’ then we’ah off.

Penny: Hey kid, yer dad tell ‘ya who he’s gonna be lookin’ for? Go on, Des, tell yer son about the whore!

Desmond: Don’ worry. Mum’s jus’ had a wee bit too much to drink. Yeah? Funny mommy.

On the island, Charlotte’s not doing so hot. She has a headache, double-vision, and a burning feeling that she just can’t explain. Unfortunately, so does Faraday.

Faraday: Don’t worry. Nothing’s going to happen to you. I won’t let it. And we’re gonna get out of this, and go away together. And we’ll be happy. And, man, you’re just so pretty.

Faraday’s moment is interrupted by this big f’ing explosion, and savages armed with bows and arrows spring out of the jungle. Their leader, who’s jaw is wired shut for some reason, demands to know hhmhmhmpphmhmh.

Ellie: Whmmmaamma iss ymuh leeedddma?

Faraday: Um… what?

Ellie: Mpph!

Faraday: Huh?

Ellie: Mmmddpp!

Faraday: What?

Ellie: Bbbppmmmppppph!

Faraday: Say again?

Sawyer, Juliette, and Locke were also ambushed, but Locke would have none of it, and went all First Blood on their ass. Juliette questions them, and is surprised to find they both speak a strange, archaic language.

Brit #1: Quien son estas gentes?

Brit #2: Callete!

Before Brit #1 can give away too much information, Brit #2 snaps his neck and runs into the jungle. Locke just watches, because it’s all part of the plan. Sawyer gets so mad his giant muscles tear right through his shirt.

Sawyer: Why didn’t you shoot him?

Locke: I think you mean, WHEN didn’t I shoot him!

The Brits lead Faraday, Charlotte, and Miles to their camp, which look strangely like anOTHER (*wink*) camp we’ve seen before. They’re greeted by a familiar face. It’s Richard Alpert, who’s wondering if they’ve come back for their bomb.

Faraday: Bomb?

Richard: Yeah. The Fast and the Furious 2? HI-YO!

Faraday: That’s horrible.

Richard: I know.

Desmond’s search for Faraday’s mother has led him to Oxford. Where, strangely, there’s no record of her or Faraday ever working for the university. Desmond goes snooping around, and breaks in to Faraday’s old laboratory. All he finds is a bunch of boxed up equipped, and garbage bags full of freeze-dried hamsters. A janitor catches him snooping around. When Desmond asks what he could do to keep this whole thing quiet, the janitor gets a wicked look on his face.

Janitor: You and me, in my tool shed. Fifteen minutes, no rules.

So it turns out that whoever was on the island before Richard and his band of merry englishmen left a hydrogen bomb. The housing’s cracked, and Richard has no idea what to do with it. Well, Faraday’s a scientist, and he’ll get rid of it! Richard asks him how he can trust him. Faraday looks longingly at Charlotte.

Faraday: Well, there’s this girl. And she’s very special. And I would never do anything to hurt her. And the only hydrogen bomb going off, is the one in my heart.

Charlotte: Oh holy hell.

Outside, Brit#2 has come back to camp. Richard is none too pleased. What if his captors followed him back?

Brit #2: WTF, mate? You think that old buggah knows this island bettah’ than me?

Locke: Hey, guys.

Brit #2: Dammit!

Richard: Smooth move… Widmore!

Locke: *gasp*

Locke and Richard go off to talk. Locke tells him that he’s their leader, and he needs to know how to get off the island. Richard’s confused. If Locke is their leader, why would he want to leave the island.

Locke: Uhhh… um. Oh no! Another flash is coming! Scary! Tell me before it’s too late!

Richard: Bull. S**t.

Ellie leads Faraday to the bomb. He goes over it carefully and sees where the housing has cracked open. He runs over.

Faraday: Hurry, we need to bury this thing!

Ellie: Huh? The two of us?

Faraday: Yeah, we’ll bury it right behind you!

Ellie: Wha?

Sawyer: Ha!

Sawyer jumps up and smashes her in the face, and we can only hope she died. As they make their way back to the Other’s camp, there’s another flash, and the camp disappears.

Faraday: Charlotte!

As Charlotte spins around, blood gushes out of her nose and she passes out. Faraday rushes over and hugs her limp body.

Faraday: She loves me too.

After a long day of searching, Desmond comes back to his boat empty handed. Penny looks concerned.

Penny: And?

Desmond: Uh, Faraday’s mum is dead. Oh, I saw yah fahtha’.

Penny: What? Why didn’t you write anything aboot that?

Desmond: Meh.

Stay tuned for another LOSTWATCH!! coming soon!


A few teaser posters for Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds have popped up. You know it’s going to be good because of all the blood.

LOSTWATCH!! – “Oh yeah. Libby says ‘hi.'”

Jack, Kate, and the rest of the Oceanic Six are sunning themselves on the upper deck of Penny Widmore’s yacht, weaving the delicate web of lies they’re going to have to put out there once they make it back to civilization. Jack goes around the circle, making sure everyone is in agreement, but Hurley’s having reservations.

Hurley: Lying’s not cool, dude.

Jack: You know what, dude? You’re really harshin’ everyone’s mellow here.

Not now, but three years in the future, Hurley and Sayid are racing down the street when they’re pulled over by a cop. But this isn’t just any cop. It’s Anna-Lucia, who, in one of Lost’s more awesome moments, was shot and killed in season 2. It was good. It was right. But now she’s back. And she comes around to Hurley’s window and stares at him with those big, terrible, Frankenstein eyes. And we don’t hear what she’s saying because we’re wondering if it’s normal for a woman’s eyebrows to be that thick. And then Libby says hi and oh good it’s over.

On the island, Faraday’s finally made his way back to camp. Sawyer’s always ready with a witty retort. But this time, his nicknames go too far.

Sawyer: Welcome back, Dr. Wizard.

Miles: I think it’s Mr. Wizard.

Sawyer: Nobody’s talkin’ to you, slant-eyes.

Miles: Are you f**king KIDDING me?!

Sawyer: Well, I mean, eehehehehe. What I meant was…

Everyone just kind of walks away. This show has taken a serious wrong turn somewhere.

Back in L.A., Hurley’s stopped at a Love’s truck stop to pick up some clean clothes. He comes out with a pair of Carhartts and the first season of Ice Road Truckers on DVD. And then he eats at the Shoney’s inside. Those places just smell like garbage.

At the hotel, Ben unscrews an air vent where he’s hidden the maltese falcon. Jack comes out of the bathroom, digging through his pockets.

Jack: Umm. Ben, have you seen my medicinal cocaine? I have it for, like, headaches. And my cocaine addiction.

Ben: Get your stuff, Jack. We’re leaving.

Jack: Where are we going?

Ben: You’re going home.

Jack: Where are you going?

Ben: Where do you think? I’m getting rid of that rotting corpse in my van. It’s been like three days, and we’re in California. Maggots are having babies in his eyes.

Jack: Dammit, Ben. Why do you have to say it like that?

Elsewhere, Hurley’s dad is making himself a sandwich when the doorbell rings. He comes to the door.

Hurley’s dad: Who is it?

Hurley: Dad? It’s me. Hurley.

Hurley’s dad: Hurley’s not home, man. Just kidding. WTF, son? Who’s the terrorist? Haha, I got jokes!

Hurley tells his dad about the safe house, and asks if they can hide out for a few days. His dad knows that he’s escaped from a mental institution and probably killed three people, but they can totally crash with them. A couple of minutes later, Hurley’s mom walks in and asks, “Hoogo, what is this terrorista on my houch?” They’re so Spanish.

To get rid of Locke’s body, Ben goes to see the Wolf, who says he can take care of it as long as Ben can keep his spurs from jingling and jangling. Quentin Tarantino tells him he looks like a dork and then they all take a picture together.

The castaways on the island have been trying to start a fire all day to cook all the food they don’t have anymore. Neil, who before crashing on the island, had a very successful career chasing tornadoes with Helen Hunt, freaking out.

Rose: Why don’t you chill out, jive muthafu**a.

Neil: No, Rose. I will not chill out. We’re stuck. We have no food. When I smile you see way too much of my gums. And Bernard here can’t even make a FIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYEEEE!

In a very unfortunate twist of irony, Neil is shot with a flaming arrow. Then, at his funeral, nobody showed up, except for Rose. Even though they fought all the time, they were best friends. More irony. Anyway, everyone scatters into the jungle as flaming arrows rain down on the beach.

Kate’s visiting Sun, who’s in L.A. for some sinister reason. Kate tells her that someone knows Aaron isn’t really her child, and that they’re trying to take him away.

Sun: Are you going to do anything about it?

Kate: Of course! What kind of person do you think I am?.

Sun: What kind of person? Well, the sort of person who can make hard decisions. Like the time you told me to get on the helicopter, so that you could go get Jin.

Kate: And it begins! You always pull this shit, Sun. “My poor husband who got blown up.” I don’t know why I put up with it.

Hurley’s asked Jack to take care of Sayid, who’s still passed out from the poison dart. As they’re loading him into Jack’s jeep, he pauses.

Hurley’s dad: Dr. Shepherd?

Jack: (out of breath) Yeah?

Hurley’s dad: After we’re done here, can I still be in a couple of episodes? Ever since they canceled Nash Bridges, I got nothin’, man.

Jack’s able to get Sayid back to the hospital and wake him up. Things have changed in the three years since they got off the island, and Sayid isn’t very happy to see him. See, Jack’s a drug addict posing as a doctor, and Sayid is a former member of the Republican Guard. You bet they don’t get along! And what’s worse, they were both charged with disorderly conduct after getting into a fight a couple of years back, and a judge ordered them to move in together. Can you imagine all the nutty situations they’ll get into? Well, you won’t have to, because their new sitcom will be airing this Fall on ABC.

Ben goes to see Hurley, and tells him that he needs to come back to the island. Hurley looks right into the camera and says, “I feel so… Lost?” *wink* I’m really starting to hate this show.

The crowd of fleeing castaways has thinned out a bit, and now Sawyer and Juliet are all alone, sneaking through the underbrush. Suddenly, they’re bushwhacked by a group of British soldiers. They tie up Sawyer and are going to do all sort of disgusting shit to Juliette when a knife flies out of the jungle, catching one of the soldiers in the neck. Sawyer busts through his ropes and his shirt and takes the rest of them out. He and Juliette peer into the jungle. Locke mozies out, pulls his knife from the dead soldier’s body, and cleans it on his pants. He smiles at the other two.

Locke: The hunt. Begins.

Ben visits a church that has a laboratory in the basement for some reason. I bet they’re about to answer all sorts of questions for us. Hey! It’s that chick you took Desmond in the Way Back Machine from season 3.

Ben: I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t get them all.

Eloise: Well, then. I guess we’ll have to go to the OTHER island.

Okay. I really hate this show now.

TRAILER MONDAY – Wednesday Edition?!

Trailer Monday… on a Wednesday? Bwaah? I actually have a reason for holding off for a few days, which has nothing to do with how lazy I am. More at trailer #3.

First up this week we’ve got the teaser for The Year One, starring Jack Black and Michael Cera. While this one looks pretty funny, I’m going to be seriously pissed if this is the reason Cera is holding out on the Arrested Development movie.

Coming to theaters this April is Dragonball Evolution, the live action version of the popular cartoon, which promises to be just as shitty as the popular cartoon. I do have to admit, the movie offers up some impressive eye candy. And then there’s that Emily Rossum, who could do all sorts of things with my dragonballs.

And now for the creme de la creme, and the reason this post is two days late. This afternoon, Yahoo! Movies posted the trailer for Inglourious Basterds, Quentin Tarantino’s highly-anticipated World War II flick. I’ve been hearing stuff about this movie for close to ten years, and now that it’s almost here… well that’s just fine. Brad Pitt’s accent may seem a little overboard the first time you watch it, but after another fifty, you’re going to love it. Enjoy.